Wear and Tear

I need to get some sleep, really. I did better last night than the night before at getting to sleep, but that was partly because I went to bed really late. We also got up very early, so I only got four and a half hours sleep. I did okay during the day on that much sleep, oddly enough. Robert and I went to the health department and got our new WIC vouchers, we picked up the portraits from Penneys, which are fuzzy and will need to be reordered, I made an actual dinner of turkey mignons and steamed carrots, and did three loads of laundry. I got a lot of stuff done, when you think about it!

Trouble is, exhaustion usually reveals itself in my emotions first, and tonight I am in such a bad mood. Cranky, jealous, irritable, and depressed over stupid and meaningless things! It's not a good way to feel, and even though I know I should be shaking it off, the physical weariness makes it impossible. I need to remember that when I write, it is to please myself first, and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it or if anyone even reads it. This blog is great because I do get feedback sometimes, but even if I didn't, it would still be worthwhile to write. I need to focus on that and not on wishing I were a better writer, or that I had heaping piles of praise being dropped on my head. I know I will feel better once I finally catch up on my sleep, but I don't know if that's going to be tonight. I get into these self-defeating cycles where I get tired and become anxious and then can't sleep due to anxiety. Maybe I will do some of the meditation I learned in Hypnobirthing and see if it helps. Tomorrow is a big day, after all, and I can't afford to be so underslept.

Anyway, there's another batch of new pictures on the Flickr stream. They are very cute ones of Robert smiling and laughing, so you won't want to miss them.